2 Thoughts - Warranted & Expected

Am I that Leader?

This week I sang for a funeral.  It was a B- on "performance".  Definitely missed a few notes, bad breath control, had some mic issues, and the whole time I was thinking, "Father D is going to be so disappointed.  He runs a tight ship and has high expectations."  Even though it was the best I could do with 2 days notice and no practice, critical feedback was both warranted and expected.

And yet - afterwards the family and attendees all came up to say how beautiful the music was.

#1: Are we too focused failures?

Whether it's just the mark of being a high performer, or it's fear of failure, I had a brief thought at the end, "Is this how I show up for my kids?  Constantly focused on what they missed instead of what they did right?  That must feel awful."

#2: How you do anything is how you do everything.

And then the next thought, "Is this how I show up as a leader in general?  Hyper critical and so intent on controlling every little thing that I miss the "beautiful music" that's being made?"

#3: 5 times

Psychologically, you have to say 5 positive things to outweigh one negative.  Try overdelivering your focus on what's working.